Peaceful Monk Gifts

"My client would like to cooperate, but unfortunately he's taken a vow of silence."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

The International and May Day Terrorism

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Showoff"

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"You've been served."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Zenboni

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

"Baldo, I'm proud of you. You stood up for what you believed in...but you didn't resort to violence."

'It's a demonstration by people who disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it.'

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

'This one is for not hinting in T.V. interviews that Burma's pacifists should be send WMPs.'

Meditation vs. Vegetation

Namastayyy

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

Zen Master Huineng

Computer literate Monk

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

A friar

Pray as you Go.

Revolution

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

St. Lukes Silent Order

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'