Peaceful Monk Pillows

"My client would like to cooperate, but unfortunately he's taken a vow of silence."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

The International and May Day Terrorism

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Showoff"

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"You've been served."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Zenboni

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

'It's a demonstration by people who disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it.'

'This one is for not hinting in T.V. interviews that Burma's pacifists should be send WMPs.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

Computer literate Monk

Zen Master Huineng

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

A friar

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

Revolution

St. Lukes Silent Order

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."