Traveling Monk Gifts

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Buddhist photo albums,

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

A monk illuminating a book with quill pen

Golf

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Computer literate Monk

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

"No, wait. What if the cop character is the murderer, and the mobster guy is completely innocent?"

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

A woman knits from a globe.

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

'I keep mine on my IPod.'

'Actually I'm meditating on a bizarre anime that I saw last night.'

'It costs a lot to get it delivered out here, but I LOVE the Sunday crossword!'

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"I'm going on a retreat."

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

'Yep, I'm alone.'