Trappist Monk Pillows

Shut Up

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Computer literate Monk

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

"This year I'm really gonna get organized."

'I keep mine on my IPod.'

'It costs a lot to get it delivered out here, but I LOVE the Sunday crossword!'

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

'Actually I'm meditating on a bizarre anime that I saw last night.'

'Yep, I'm alone.'

Monk on PC.

Monks haircutting with compasses

Big Brother in Monastery.

'I don't have the heart to tell him that electric typewriters aren't REALLY the latest thing.'

'I hired a decorator.'