Trainwreck Humorist Gifts

"I guess we should exchange insurance."

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

'Flight simulator'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

A Semicolon.

Suez Canal Curse

Road work next 15 years.

"Okay. Hit it."

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'How was my emergency stop?'

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

Airbus

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'It doesn't work...'

'Not only does he have a one-track mind...it's also narrow gauge.'

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

Luck

"And hold the mayo."

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

'It's the acceptable face of the high-speed rail link.'

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

Please Don't Ask...

Ridiculed for arriving in Washington in private jets, the Big Three auto CEOs found a more humble way to travel.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Forest Fire Hazard

"We apologise for the late arrival of the 1945 train...."

Road Work Ahead