Trainwreck Humorist T-Shirts

"I guess we should exchange insurance."

'Flight simulator'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

A Semicolon.

Road work next 15 years.

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

"Okay. Hit it."

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

'How was my emergency stop?'

Airbus

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'It doesn't work...'

Luck

'Not only does he have a one-track mind...it's also narrow gauge.'

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

"And hold the mayo."

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

'It's the acceptable face of the high-speed rail link.'

Please Don't Ask...

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Forest Fire Hazard

"We apologise for the late arrival of the 1945 train...."

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

Road Work Ahead

"Because of track work, uptown trains are going downtown, and downtown trains are going uptown."