Shipwreck Humorist Gifts

Turkey Baster

A castawy sees a ship comiing closer and is excited by the prospect of rescue - but the ship plows right through the middle of his island.

'Do you have a booking, sir?'

"I miss indoor dining"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Man painting MOM on boat

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I got one this small.'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Fish near-death experiences.