Train Traveler Humorist Gifts

"I wonder if I might have a-er-glass of water."

'I'm getting a terrible signal.'

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Transylvanian backpackers.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"My guess it's guacamole."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'