Tractor Whisperer Gifts

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

The Busy Gardener

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

"Quick, start the car!"

Braiding a Horse's Tail

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Dog Dreams

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plant Lady

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

An Unexpected Guest.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'You know too much!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"That is an outrageous slur."

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...