Tool Whisperer Gifts

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"When were you first aware of this urge to show sympathy and compassion for nails instead of pounding them?"

'I'm always wary of plumbers who ask if you have a small spanner.'

The Taming of the Screw.

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Car Dentistry.

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

WWW.World.com

'I need a new toy!'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

"Yeah, my master is a car enthusiast too, but instead of going on joy-rides with me, he spends his weekends tinkering with the engine..."