Tool Whisperer Pillows

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'I'm always wary of plumbers who ask if you have a small spanner.'

The Taming of the Screw.

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Car Dentistry.

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

WWW.World.com

'I need a new toy!'

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

Cellular Plan

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'