Techie Whisperer Gifts

"The voices in my head are obviously tech-savvy. Now they just keep sending me text messages and emails."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Fixing the Computer.

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

WWW.World.com

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

"I am a control freak."

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."