Software Whisperer Gifts

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Computer Expert

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Fixing the Computer.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

"Now all we need is a good script."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Duplass Brothers

"Peterson should be sure to win the Nobel Prize! He has proven that the mutated Coronavirus also mutates laboratory rats!"

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

WWW.World.com

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Cellular Plan

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'

Rudy, you bought me a high-definition camcorder. You shouldn't have. Is that you shouldn't have as in: It's just too thoughtful? Or, simply: You shouldn't have 'cause this gift stinks? I'm really blown away. Clarify!