Software Whisperer Pillows

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Computer Expert

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Fixing the Computer.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"Now all we need is a good script."

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"

"Peterson should be sure to win the Nobel Prize! He has proven that the mutated Coronavirus also mutates laboratory rats!"

Duplass Brothers

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

WWW.World.com

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

Cellular Plan

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Always stick to the script.

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."