System Whisperer Pillows

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Fixing the Computer.

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Man and Machine snoozing

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

The Complete Cycle.

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

Cellular Plan

Plug Me In Stupid

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" The hot video game where you're a peacemaker who disarms everyone in sight and sells them on the virtues of nonviolent communication.

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

G.P.S. satellites gone bad

'The light stays on after I shut the door.'

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'