System Whisperer Prints

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Fixing the Computer.

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

The Complete Cycle.

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

Cellular Plan

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Plug Me In Stupid

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" The hot video game where you're a peacemaker who disarms everyone in sight and sells them on the virtues of nonviolent communication.

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'The light stays on after I shut the door.'

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

G.P.S. satellites gone bad

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

"What setting do I use for this?"