Internet Whisperer Gifts

Jack of all trades

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Fixing the Computer.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

WWW.World.com

Cellular Plan

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

Plug Me In Stupid

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

'He's had too much exposure to wi-fi.'

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye