Internet Whisperer Prints

'Bob! The neighbors are moochin' our high-speed wireless again!'

Jack of all trades

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Fixing the Computer.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Computer help.

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

WWW.World.com

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

Cellular Plan

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

Plug Me In Stupid

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

'He's had too much exposure to wi-fi.'

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

Rudy, you bought me a high-definition camcorder. You shouldn't have. Is that you shouldn't have as in: It's just too thoughtful? Or, simply: You shouldn't have 'cause this gift stinks? I'm really blown away. Clarify!

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"