Engine Whisperer Gifts

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

'Believe me, we've tried everything... All we get is a 'click-click-whirrr' kind of noise, a big 'CLUNK' and then NOTHING!'

"There's that squeak again."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

Car Dentistry.

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

'Now the deeply-troubled expression, stroke your chin...good...'

Woman is angry at car breakdown.

Low-Tech Terminology

"I think I found what was causing that knocking."

"Let it run slow. I love to hear the gurgle and splash."

"I've done all I can. Take it home and read it The Little Engine That Could."

"Yeah, my master is a car enthusiast too, but instead of going on joy-rides with me, he spends his weekends tinkering with the engine..."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Oh...that's not good."

'No, the sound isn't turned off, it's a Formula One race.'

It happens every time I go over a bump!

'It's got cancer.'

Jump-starting Frankenstein's monster

But this is more than the estimate!

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Touring Cyclist

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

A Girl and Her Horse

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"