Auto Whisperer Gifts

Jack of all trades

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Touring Cyclist

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Man and Machine snoozing

Car Dentistry.

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Psychic Car Mechanics.

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

Support groups for car repairs.

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

When did you last have your oil changed?

Psychic car mechanics.

"You spoil that Hamster."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

The Complete Cycle.

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"It's worse than I thought."

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'