Manual Whisperer Gifts

'I can't repair the manual printing machine. The manual is illegible.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Jack of all trades

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Fixing the Computer.

Man and Machine snoozing

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"I think we could work very well together."

'Interactive TV news.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

The Complete Cycle.

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

Cellular Plan

Where baby grand pianos come from.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" The hot video game where you're a peacemaker who disarms everyone in sight and sells them on the virtues of nonviolent communication.

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'The light stays on after I shut the door.'

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

'He's had too much exposure to wi-fi.'

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'