Cattle Whisperer Gifts

I'm a leg man myself.

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Children's Parties

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

"No no, I said sit!!"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Barks in code.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"Quick, start the car!"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Canine Companion

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."