Cow Whisperer Gifts

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

Ahhh, it's great to let off steam now and again!

"My mom was a Holstein-Friesian, and my dad was the King of Diamonds."

'Do you realise that every time I turn my head to talk to you it stimulates Qi flow along the small intestine, triple heater, stomach, spleen, gall bladder and liver meridians?'

"I think my 5 years of astronaut training might have been a bit of a waste."

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oh, oh! Doctor Strange Glove is back!'

'Whatever you do, don't tell the rest of the herd about this secret grazing place we found.'

Erm... you got any wax, hon'?

The herd of hearing.

'You're making a big mistake.I'm still good for another five gallons of milk.'

'I hate artifical insemination!'

'Hey man! That stuff brings them in fast!'

'I'll kick him if he doesn't stop saying, 'Got Milk?'!'

"I think it's your cap, Slim. The cows don't see you as an authority figure."

Therapy for the cow dependent

'Someday they'll stop to picnic, we'll chase them off, then throw their blanket over the barbed fence, and escape to greener pastures'

Cash Cows.

'Was that the only balling gun you had with you, Doctor?'

"Very impressive. I'd like to find five thousand more like you."

'Let's step outside - I don't want her to hear this.'

"Mother, is there life after sirloin?"

'You might as well be a cheerful giver, they're going to get it anyhow.'

Either one of us is pregnant, or he's lost his watch again!

Pull the udder one

"You gelded my cows?!"

I have these recurring dreams that I'm completely naked in a field!

"Can you milk a cow?"

MAH MOO MAH MAH MOO MOO MOO MOO MAH MOOMAH MOO MAH MAH MOOMAH MOO MOO!

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

'Mama! Aliens.'

This salt lick supplies iodide, a necessary nutrient.

A Cool Invisible Cow.

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'