Herd Whisperer Gifts

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Children's Parties

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Licensed Therapist

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Barks in code.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Canine Companion

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Dog Dreams