Touring Traveler Gifts

Walking Tourist.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

The Vineyard

Sloaney Pony.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Easter Island legs

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Desert Island Meals.

"First class, or with children?"

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

Omara Portuondo

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

The Family Joules: Part 16

Airport Security.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'

Sparkling Water

"Thank god I bought my layers."

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

Tourists and their Pets.

'Are we there yet?'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."