Scenic Traveler Gifts

Bargeman on a canal boat.

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Motor Tourism

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Vaccination Passport

Welcome Ghost.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Mad For It

'The view is much better on the other side of the bus, we'll sit there on the way back.'

"Thanks for getting me out of the house."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"I already noted plenty of beauty on the drive up."

'Anything to declare?'

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

The Scenic Route

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

'What a bargain!'

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"From here you can see 12 McDonald's..."

"My husband's a lawyer. He's always losing cases."

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

Guru Greg's Soul Repair