Scenic Sojourner Gifts

The Scenic Route

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"You think the food is bad, wait till you hear the pilot's jokes."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

Vast Wasteland Ahead

Man's brain with fishing rod in it from the TV

'I'm good. How are you?'

Bargeman on a canal boat.

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"You were right, girl. No one has autumn leaves like Vermont!"

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

"Forget it - I've tried it before, and cats can't be enlightened."

"I think we took a wrong turn in Albuquerque."

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

Flight attendant looking out a lighted window.

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"Mostly been praising Krishna a lot."

The Vicar in Customs

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."

'Why didn't you take the elevator?'

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

Hell/Paradise