Suitcase Sojourner Gifts

'If God had inteded us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport.'

The Redeye

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Carefree luggage.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

The Scenic Route

"You think the food is bad, wait till you hear the pilot's jokes."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

'I'm good. How are you?'

Vast Wasteland Ahead

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

"Forget it - I've tried it before, and cats can't be enlightened."

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

Flight attendant looking out a lighted window.

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"Mostly been praising Krishna a lot."

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."

The Vicar in Customs

'Why didn't you take the elevator?'

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

'All communication devises must be turned off during take off, Reverend.'

Hell/Paradise