Salon Sojourner Gifts

"Gimme a whiskey!" "Tex couldn't read."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"You think the food is bad, wait till you hear the pilot's jokes."

The Scenic Route

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

"So what's your success rate?"

Vast Wasteland Ahead

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

Your hats off! Salon now open

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

God's Manicure.

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

Medusa gets a trim.

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"We're doing everything we can, which is just hair and nails, unfortunately."

'My brain's secret life is keeping me up nights.'

A brush with Death.

Hell/Paradise

'My youngest provides me free mud.'

"Of course - we wait forever, then come at the same time,"

Alice in Wonderland: Flamingo Croquet.

The Redeye

"This anti-frizz serum, do you do it in a smaller size?"

Dandruff, sir..?

'Okay, luv, do you give estimates?'

Counting Geigers...

'The stolid soucar cared little for the boatel.'