Touchdown Joker Pillows

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

American Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

Friendly fire!

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Football

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.