Touchdown Trendsetter Pillows

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Football.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Megan Anna Rapinoe

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"You're back! You're really back...!"

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

Friendly fire!

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Football

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"Okay, let's celebrate this touchdown and try not to disappoint our new offensive choreographer."

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer