Touchdown Lover Pillows

"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."

'Once more dear. A touchdown is worth how many points?'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

American Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

Baseball Dreams

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Friendly fire!

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

Football

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer