Touchdown Enthusiast Pillows

'I think I can...'

Lizard running with football.

Friendly fire!

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"Walk it off, Butler!"

Happy New Year

Deathbed Conversion

The Saddest Day Of The Year

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'Yo, Dewey! Got another one over here when you're done.'

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

Football

"Okay, let's celebrate this touchdown and try not to disappoint our new offensive choreographer."

This is not what I meant by "huddled masses."

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Earl Campbell

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

Megan Anna Rapinoe

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"You're back! You're really back...!"

Fish to angler: 'Nice try, pal, but I know plastic and feathers when I see them!'

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."