Touchdown Lover Gifts

"You're back! You're really back...!"

"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."

'Once more dear. A touchdown is worth how many points?'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

American Football.

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Baseball Dreams

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

Megan Anna Rapinoe

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

Friendly fire!

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

Football

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'