Touchdown Dancer Gifts

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Punishment for the kicker.

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"I'll assume, then, my remarks have hit a responsive chord?"

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

Megan Anna Rapinoe

"You're back! You're really back...!"

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

Friendly fire!

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

Football

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"Okay, let's celebrate this touchdown and try not to disappoint our new offensive choreographer."