Touchdown Tactician Gifts

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

"It's a game of power, speed, agility, and grace, but, most of all, Tom, it's a game of points."

'Focus on the kick, and forget about all the seven-foot tall kick blockers they have.'

Input From The Front Office

Bret Favre.

'Getting warmer... warmer... hot... boiling hot...'

Football coach going to Bait and Tackle store to get his team to tackle better.

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

"Sharpen my teeth! I'm a linebacker!"

"I periodically remove your names to emphasize the team concept, but now I'm just hoping to buy some time for those of you with arrest warrants."

'I think it will be a very competitive season. Most of the league's key players are out on bail.'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'That was some hit!'

American Football.

'Git yer forward passes, yer laterals, or yer handoffs here!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'I don't suppose he's congratulating him on his performance.'

'He's severely strained relations with his teammates... get his agent.'

'Go out and win one to maintain your current lifestyles.'

"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"

'He threw four interceptions and blew a 14 point lead in the fourth quarter... get the spin doctor!'

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"

Mister Buck, financial wizard, answers your questions. A reader in Chicago asks "Why isn't it a good idea to throw money at a problem?" There are too many interceptions.

"Excellent Hail Mary."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

I love Basketball.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Carlo Ancelotti

Football.

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

'What a control freak!'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."