Touchdown Aficionado Gifts

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

Megan Anna Rapinoe

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"You're back! You're really back...!"

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

Fish to angler: 'Nice try, pal, but I know plastic and feathers when I see them!'

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

Friendly fire!

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'I hate it when they use invisible line.'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Football

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer