Touchdown Devotee Gifts

Another football season comes to an end.

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Punishment for the kicker.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

Megan Anna Rapinoe

Football Delivery

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"You're back! You're really back...!"

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

Friendly fire!

Football

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

"Sometimes I question his priorities."