Touchdown Tacticians Gifts

Defense Weapon

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

American Football.

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Football.

'What a control freak!'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

Before instant replay.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Don't forget. When this photo shoot is over I get a bucket of shiners.'

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

Friendly fire!

'Quick! Play dead!'

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Football

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

'That was some hit!'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'