Touchdown Joker Gifts

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

'Huh? These are my tampons not my pom poms.'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'Hole in one!!!!'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Input From The Front Office

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

American Football.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Megan Anna Rapinoe

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"You're back! You're really back...!"

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

Friendly fire!

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

Football

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."