Touchdown Dreamer Pillows

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'

'Throw the ball! I can't hold them much longer - the defence shields are weakening!'

Punishment for the kicker.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Football Fans

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

You guys aren't living up to your preseason hype!

Penalty

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Friendly fire!

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

Football

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer

"Okay, let's celebrate this touchdown and try not to disappoint our new offensive choreographer."

'I wanna be a hockey goalkeeper.'

STRIP *The Fan * "Let Garry McAllister be you inspiration."

'Just made a pass. I'm running for the end zone.'

"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."

"I could do that!"

'Once more dear. A touchdown is worth how many points?'

'My Dad said I'll be an international goalkeeper when I grow up!'

'I think I can...'

'Phillip! Time for dinner...Phillip?!'