Quarterback Dreamer Pillows

You guys aren't living up to your preseason hype!

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

Football Fans

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Midnight Basketball

Baseball Dreams

Punishment for the kicker.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Not The Real Me

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'Yes! How does if feel to be giving birth to a future kicker in professional football?'

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

Penalty

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

'Boy, I love pretending to be Jens Lehmann...Now I can go home to watch football on TV!'

"Why are you studying? Go outside and practice shooting three pointers, so you can ear big bucks like Steph Curry."

It's been awhile, so to refresh your memory - what you need in your car for winter snowstorms...

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Wordplay: Mind Games.

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

'It's OK if you want to live your sports dreams vicariously through your son, Mr. Wagner. But you'll have to do it from the bleachers.'

How to think and act like a professional cricketer.

'You can be President when you grow up. I'm going to make a lot of money playing shortstop for the Yankees.'

NBA Vampire