Quarterback Dreamer Gifts

You guys aren't living up to your preseason hype!

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

Football Fans

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Midnight Basketball

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Punishment for the kicker.

Baseball Dreams

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Not The Real Me

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

Penalty

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

It's been awhile, so to refresh your memory - what you need in your car for winter snowstorms...

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Wordplay: Mind Games.

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

'It's OK if you want to live your sports dreams vicariously through your son, Mr. Wagner. But you'll have to do it from the bleachers.'

How to think and act like a professional cricketer.

'I wanna be a hockey goalkeeper.'

STRIP *The Fan * "Let Garry McAllister be you inspiration."