Cubs Dreamer Gifts

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

So close... Yet so far.

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

Penalty

Unemployment Office. Apply Here. What type of hourly waage were you thinking about? The pro-baseball type!

You guys aren't living up to your preseason hype!

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"We could start a band."

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

"Why are you studying? Go outside and practice shooting three pointers, so you can ear big bucks like Steph Curry."

"I'm sorry but Mr. Berrell is in Port St. Lucie trying out for the Mets."

It's been awhile, so to refresh your memory - what you need in your car for winter snowstorms...

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

'You can be President when you grow up. I'm going to make a lot of money playing shortstop for the Yankees.'

NBA Vampire

'I wanna be a hockey goalkeeper.'

"How long did you live in Santa Fe?"

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

New Player

'You're behind on every pitch, Billy! Try choking up on the bat!'

"I'm sorry, Timmy, but Mr. Jeter's promise to hit you a home run isn't covered by your existing HMO."

Field of Broken Dreams

'You're that close to going to the minors. Relax.'

Rudy, let's work together. Forget it. I'm a citizen journalist -- A lone wolf. I'll give you $15 per blog post plus bonuses based on how much traffic your stories attract. Nope. I'll let you cover Apple and you can get a discount iPod when you review the new product. Welcome to the big leagues. Welcome to the big leagues.

'Wow! That must be a big league baseball!'