American Football Dreamer Gifts

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Football Fans

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Midnight Basketball

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Baseball Dreams

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

Punishment for the kicker.

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

Not The Real Me

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"Progress is coming right along!"

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'Roger has his heart set on Texas, for the chili cook-off season!'

You guys aren't living up to your preseason hype!

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

Footballer Dreaming of the Football as Sack of Money

Penalty

Athletic Darwinism.