Torch Relay Fan Gifts

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

DIY marriage counseling.

The Unsportables: Relay

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

"Before rising all the way to the executive suite, the fire had its modest start in the company mailroom."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"Is the light bothering you?"

"Try taking baby steps."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

'Hey, Mr. Harris, I've got your fresh fire wood here, where do you want it?'

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

'Hot enough for ya?'

Last chance for dream analysis.

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

WPC