Torch Relay Fan T-Shirts

'Got a light, mate?'

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

DIY marriage counseling.

The Unsportables: Relay

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

Fire Backwards.

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"Before rising all the way to the executive suite, the fire had its modest start in the company mailroom."

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"Try taking baby steps."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Is the light bothering you?"

'Hey, Mr. Harris, I've got your fresh fire wood here, where do you want it?'

You're a sham, Al. In truth, I'm a mere shadow of my former sham, doctor. I was hoping you might help me get back to my old fake self.

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'Hot enough for ya?'

Last chance for dream analysis.