Relay Race Fan Gifts

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

"We're going to have to work on that hand off."

The Unsportables: Relay

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Centaur Sprinter

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Pig Trotter

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'I believe you were first.'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

"I want to report a race crime.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

The Race

Dog Scalextric

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE