Rain Race Fan Gifts

'First!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

The Unsportables: Relay

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Centaur Sprinter

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Pig Trotter

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'I believe you were first.'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"I want to report a race crime.'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

The Race

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Dog Scalextric

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"