Race Fan Gifts

On your mark, get set, go!

The highlight of any given car race.

'Oh, sorry - I'm getting my London Marathons mixed up with my Grand Nationals.'

Finishing Line

When challenged to a race, the sliding rocks of Death Valley could move faster than anyone thought.

'When you asked me to follow your husband at work you didn't tell me he was a Formula One driver.'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

The yellow flag goes up and runners hold their positions until the wreck is cleared from the track.

'What's the problem? You won the race, didn't you?'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

A jockey rides a pool toy.

Sprinting speeding ticket

'I believe you were first.'

Winner.

The Race

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Finish. Hand over the medal. Tortoise

Ancient Racing

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

The Unsportables: Relay

'I win!'

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

Centaur Sprinter

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Pig Trotter